Most Asked Questions by Brides
In continuation we are going to mention 10 most asked questions by brides when planning the wedding:
- How can I ask for money instead of a present?
Actually, there is NO way of wording to ask for money instead of wedding presents without being tacky. This is a cardinal rule of etiquette that must be taken seriously. The only thing you can do is to tell your friends and relatives about your preference. Then, when others ask, your family and friends can say that you would prefer money because you are e.g. saving for a house, a new car etc. Then, guests can do whatever they like. If they take the hint – GREAT – but if they don’t, accept the present with a gracious ‘thank you’!
- How to inform my guests that I do not want children at the wedding?
The only thing you can do is NOT to include the children’s names on the invitations. However, you’ll find that some people will still bring their children.
It would be appropriate to prepare a “kids table” that includes crayons, colouring books, and candy. You can even hire a babysitter to look after the children.
Some brides are now having “adult only” printed on their invitations but again, even in those cases some people ignore the printing and assume “their children” are, of course, invited.
- Who Pays for What?
A growing trend today is for wedding expenses to be shared among the bride’s family, the bride and groom and the groom’s family. But, just in case you are wondering, here are the traditional “who pays for what”…
Groom and His Family:
Bride’s engagement and wedding rings
Groom’s wedding attire
Accommodations for out-of-town ushers
Alcohol at reception
Wedding presents for the bride, best man and ushers
Flowers for the bride’s bouquet, corsages for the mothers and grandmothers
Boutonnieres for ushers, ring bearers and fathers
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Bride and Bride’s Family:
Wedding consultant’s fee
Invitations, personal notes and mailing expense
Transportation for the wedding party
Wedding dress, headpiece and accessories
Cost of the reception
Cost of the ceremony
Photography and video expense
Groom’s wedding ring
Small presents for guests
Accommodations for out-of-town bride’s attendants
Wedding attire – Bridesmaid dress, shoes & accessories
Shower and wedding present for the couple
Shower given by bridesmaids and/or maid of honour
Wedding attire rental
Wedding present for the couple
Bachelor party given by best man and/or ushers
- How many invited guests should I expect will actually attend the wedding?
The general rule of thumb is if you are having over 200 guests, then you can estimate that about 25 – 28% of your guests will be unable to attend. If you are having less than 200 guests, then the percentage usually decreases to about 15-20% or less. All the other factors that can influence the attendance include how many guests you invite that live out-of-town and the travel distance required to attend your wedding. Remember, every family (and guest list is different) – so always be prepared in case EVERYONE is able to come!
- Which are the Maid of Honour’s Responsibilities?
The main role of the Maid of honour is to help the bride with the wedding planning. This can include shopping for dresses, addressing invitations, putting together favours and just being there when the bride needs some extra help, support or someone to talk to.
- What is appropriate to wear for a second wedding?
No matter whether it is your first, second or third wedding the focal point is still the wedding dress. Many second-time brides choose a simpler, more elegant or sophisticated wedding dress. Many choose a floor length or cocktail length dress in white, off-white or a pretty pastel. Many “etiquette experts” advise second-time brides not to wear a veil or a long train for their second wedding. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM! This is your day – wear what YOU want to wear! Maybe you had a very small first wedding and now you want to go all out! Wear what makes you feel beautiful!
- How Do I Personalize my Wedding?
There are plenty of tips and ideas to make your wedding unique and personal. But, which ideas are right for you? Only YOU can decide. Think about what is important to you and your fiancé. Think about special interests or hobbies that you share together. Or, maybe there is a special place – the beach or some quaint little Inn you went to when he proposed. Use THESE elements and these “feelings” in your wedding and it will be truly unique and personal wedding.
- Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
Your caterer or reception site serving the food will include their services with your bill. So in this case a tip is not necessarily expected. As for your other vendors (wedding consultant, band or DJ, limo driver, photographer), again a tip is not mandatory. However, if you feel a vendor went “above and beyond the call of duty”, then feel free to provide them with an extra tip. And if you are not sure just ask.
- What fee should I pay my clergy?
This can be a tough one… most clergy do not have a “fee” but instead ask for a donation. In this case, anywhere from $50 – $1000, or more. A lot depends on how well you know him and whether or not counselling sessions were involved. If you are still unsure what the appropriate amount should be – then talk to the church secretary and ask for an “acceptable range” for a donation.