You will be very lucky if you do not have one or two little hiccups along the way when organizing your wedding. Here are a few of the more common problems that arise with some potential solutions. I stress potential because everybody is unique and will reach different solutions according to their personal circumstances.
Common Wedding Hiccups:
Dealing with the in-laws; click on meeting the in-laws. for some guidelines on how to avoid some potentially disastrous wedding disputes.
Family Wedding Disputes; are usually about how the bride and groom wish their wedding to be conducted. However, the family may have other ideas and arguments revolve around:
– should children be allowed to attend the wedding?
– should a baby be allowed to cry through out the wedding?
– should a mentally challenged family member be allowed to attend the wedding?
– should an alcoholic uncle be invited to attend the wedding breakfast?
– should a drug addict cousin be invited to the wedding?
– explain no children or babies are being invited to the wedding. It is adults only. Give plenty of notice so that baby sitters may be arranged. For a newborn arrange nannying facilities.
– explain that the wedding is being videoed. Any noise, crying babies, rustling sweet papers, etc. will be picked up by the recording equipment and potentially ruin the video. Explain you do not wish to take this chance.
– explain it is unfair to invite someone to a wedding who will not comprehend what is happening. In some instances where a mentally challenged person has attended a wedding they have become very aggressive as they think their sister or brother is being taken away from them and they will never see them again. Carefully assess the effect that a wedding will have.
– if the uncle had any sense he would decline the invitation to the wedding breakfast and make a quiet exit after the wedding ceremony. However, as this may not be relied on, and if the uncle cannot be trusted to behave himself, he should not be invited to the wedding breakfast.
– no a drug addict cousin should not be invited to the wedding.
Step-Family Wedding Disputes: are usually the same as family squabbles, but made worse due to the number of “extras” involved. If remarrying complexity arises around:
– shall we include the children in the ceremony?
– previous wedding vows which have been broken
– yes children should be included in the wedding ceremony. It is not only a joining as man and wife, but also a joining of two families. Try and ensure each has a special role to play according to their age. For example: flower girl, ring bearer, best man, matron of honour, poetry reading, playing/singing a solo, etc.
– like Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles, if previous wedding vows have been broken, you may wish to renounce your sins before God
If a daughter’s parents are divorced, there may be issues around:
– who walks the bride down the aisle?
– who sits where in church?
– who pays for the wedding expenses?
– who will toast whom and for what?
– who gets included in the reception line and wedding pictures?
– who sits where and with whom at the wedding breakfast?
– the ex-husband cannot insist on walking his daughter down the aisle, but not pay for the wedding. Even if the biological father does offer to pay, it is the bride’s ultimate decision who should walk her down the aisle. Generally, most brides choose the person who has supported them and been there for them. If in a position to do so, the bride and groom may pay for the wedding themselves, or ask key members of the family for donations into a wedding kitty.
– having made that decision all the rest flows on, in terms of who sits where in church, who is included in the wedding photographs and who toasts whom. Consistency is the name of the game.
– a certain informality may also be an advantage. For example, instead of a formal sit-down meal, a buffet may be diplomatic, or instead of posed photography, live action shots/natural groupings may be a better option.